Raj had a huge crush on Tina in college. Tina was beautiful, smart & popular. Raj was decent looking, had a good family background, played sports & did well in exams. Raj & Tina were part of the same circle of friends. All of Raj’s friends knew he had a crush on Tina. Raj had wanted to ask Tina out for days. But Raj always felt nervous & insecure around Tina. Thanks to his insecurity & constantly doubting his chances with Tina, he could never muster the courage to ask Tina out. As luck would have it, after a few months Tina started dating another guy from their college. Raj was heart broken. He was angry with himself, that he didn’t even try his luck with the woman he had a such a huge crush on. Raj did get married years later, to a woman his parents chose. But he still can’t wonder how his life would have turned out, had he asked Tina out.
Have you faced these issues too? Do you want to avoid being the next Raj? Men since ages have dreaded taking a step towards asking their crushes out. The most successful men have been at a loss of words, when it came to asking their crushes out, leading to their crushes dating/marrying other men who had the b*&$s to ask them out.
Sow how does one ask his woman out, without having to fear getting rejected? The Opinionated Indian answers it for you
1) Get her phone number: Getting her phone number is the most vital step in dating. Asking her out directly on your first meeting should be avoided at all costs. If she is your college mate/ colleague it is pretty easy in today’s times to get her phone number. All you need to do is ask! Women don’t really hesitate in sharing their phone number with people whom they are familiar with. We would suggest conversing with her a few times before asking for her number. If you meet an attractive lady at a mall or a club or any public place,strike a conversation about how much how much you like/dislike the place or If there is a TV playing the India cricket match, just go next to her & say “India is going to win today” She will probably say ” Yeah. Me too. Kohli is playing well” or “Nah. I am not into sports”. Post which, based on her response you can ask her “Who is your favorite cricketer” or ” So what are you into?” The idea is to say something generic & not come off as a flirt or someone trying to pick them up. After speaking for a 2-3 mins, tell her “it was fun talking to you. We should stay in touch. What is your phone number?” At this point 99% of women will tell you their mobile phone number. It is that simple! Unless you creeped her out, you can rest assured that you will get her digits. Women who are unavailable will also mention about their bf as they give you their mobile number, so you can get the hint.If she doesn’t say anything of that sort, remember to tell her ” Anyway I have some work I have to attend to, I have to leave. See you around”, 2-3 mins post getting her number. Do not spend 3 hours chatting her up & telling her everything there is to know about you. Women love mystery. Do not kill all the suspense on your first interaction.
2) Treat her as your friend: Beautiful women are tired of men constantly trying to get into their pants. A woman conversing with a man regularly is misconstrued by a lot of men, as an expression of interest. If you think so too, then please get this straight, if girl is talking to you, it doesn’t mean she is interested in you. They love it, when a guy is interested in her as a person & not just her X-rated areas. Treat her like a lady & not just as apiece of meat. Do not flirt or lech at her as soon as you meet her (unless she does that first). Do not let her know of your feelings for her right away. Speak to her like she is a normal person & not an angel from heaven. Have normal conversations about topics that are of mutual interest. Women love talking about TV shows, celebs or bitching about mutual friends.
3) What to say over the phone: Once you have her mobile number, we would suggest you wait at least for 24 hours before you text/call her. She will be awaiting your phone call. Texting/calling her immediately will kill all the excitement. Do not send forwards either. This is the biggest mistake which men do. Committing this mistake will take you from “Interesting guy whom i met & might end up dating” & put you in “another guy who is crazy bout me” category. For 24 hours, she will keep looking at her phone, think about the conversation you has & even tell her friends about it. After you call her, do not sound nervous or insecure. Women hate it in man. She too has butterflies in her stomach & is anxious about her first conversation with you. After she pick up the phone ask her “What’s up?”. Do not & I repeat Do not tell her how much you thought about her. Ask her what she is up to & tell her how awesome your day was & how much fun you had with your friends or family. Show her that you are a fun guy, who can show her a good time. Do not tell her how your professor or boss bullied you. She is not your crying shoulder! Tease her like you would tease your younger sibling or your friends (teasing them about their fat butts is not what we are hinting it). Women love it when men imitate them or others around them. Try to make her laugh & keep the conversation fun. The hotter & more popular the woman the more you need to tease her. Hot woman are used to men treating them like goddesses. When you treat her like a normal being, you will stand apart from all the other guys who are trying to woo her. Your conversation should not last more than 10-15 mins. Post which you excuse yourself saying you have important work to attend to. Like we said earlier, keep the mystery around you alive. She will be dying to know more about you. Do not kill the suspense early on.
4) Asking her Out: If you do not muster the courage to ask her out post 1-2 weeks, you risk getting friend zoned. Post 1-2 weeks of texting her 2-3 times & talking to her for 10-15 mins everyday, you should ask her out. Now is the time to overcome your fear of rejection. Men fear the embarrassment of the world knowing that they got rejected or how the girl might stop talking to them if they ask her out. Firstly, you need to stop putting undue pressure on yourself. You are not the first guy in the world to get rejected & you won’t be the last. Even celebs get rejected by their crushes! So take a chill pill. If you are not confident of her approval, the best way out is to ask her to join you for an activity. Ask her ” I am going shopping tomorrow. You wanna come along?” If she says yes, you can then ask her “We can go for a movie, post that”. At this point she is most likely to say yes. In the unlikely event of her saying no, you need to dial down on your phone calls & texts & try again after a week. If she rejects you again, do not call her for a few days in between. If she doesn’t call you then she is not interested in you & just wanted to make herself feel better about herself by getting your attention (women do that). Stop talking to her & look for other women. If she ever accuses you of having a crush on her, you can call her crazy for assuming such a thing. Tell her ” I just thought of you as a friend & wanted to go shopping with you, because it is boring to go shopping alone”. That should set such women straight. If she doesn’t accuse you of having a crush on her & if she calls after a few days, tell her you were busy. If she asks you why you are acting strange. Then tell her “I am not like the other guys whom you treat like trash. I don’t feel you respect me. I asked you to join me for shopping twice & you couldn’t even spare time for that!” At this point she will have new found respect for you & will not dare to take you lightly. She will not dare to turn you down ever!
What to do on your date? That is our next article. Write to us at theopinionatedindian@yahoo.com